Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

My name is Diltaj Mann, I am penning down this epistle to inform you about the experience I currently had at your store.

When I went home and tried the jacket on to see how I could style it, the zip did not work. I tried a lot to gently close the zip but when I was unable to do so after several failed attempts, I decided to finally return it as this is not at all acceptable for such an expensive and new item.

I recently purchased a jacket from your store but when I got back home I discovered that it was damaged. When I went to the store for a return, I was denied the return even though I had explained the whole scenario to the staff present there at that time and had the receipt in had.

I request you to please investigate into this matter and see if you can help me out with it. I am a regular customer and I know the store's policy. I request you to get my return processed and if it is not possible then offer me a store gift card for the return instead.

Looking forward to a positive response from your end.

Regards,

Diltaj Mann

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address all three required points: the faulty zip is described, the staff’s refusal despite your explanation and receipt is reported, and you request a refund or, alternatively, a gift card. Your position is clear and the request is appropriately directed to the manager. The explanation of the damage is specific enough to establish the problem, while the return incident is also relevant. To make the ideas more fully developed, clarify whether the jacket was defective when purchased and state what outcome you consider preferable, rather than leaving the manager to infer your priority. The claim that you know the store’s policy is not explained, so it adds little support to your request.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable opening, body and closing, and the main events can be followed. However, the progression is weakened because the purchase and discovery are introduced twice: first through the zip problem, then again with “I recently purchased a jacket.” This repetition makes the sequence feel less controlled. The first paragraph also combines your introduction and purpose in a long sentence, while the two central paragraphs could be organised more clearly as problem first and return attempt second. Use paragraphing to separate these stages and avoid repeating information. Linking phrases such as “When I returned to the store” would make the chronology clearer without relying on repeated wording.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a sufficient range to explain the complaint, including “damaged,” “failed attempts,” “denied the return,” and “processed.” These choices communicate the situation clearly, and “regular customer” helps establish context. There are also attempts at more formal vocabulary, such as “penning down this epistle,” but this sounds overly elaborate and unnatural for a customer complaint. Some phrases are imprecise or awkward, including “investigate into this matter” and “receipt in had.” Aim for natural, precise language suited to a formal letter rather than unusually ornate wording. More accurate collocations would make the request sound both professional and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the conditional request “if it is not possible then offer me a store gift card” and the time clause beginning “When I went home.” Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. The opening is a comma splice: “My name is Diltaj Mann, I am…” should be separated with a full stop or joined with “and.” In “I had the receipt in had,” the final word should be “hand.” The sentence beginning “I tried a lot…” is also long and would be easier to control if divided. Check punctuation around clauses and use complete, well-formed sentences consistently.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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