Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The jacket was expired but my deal is done with shop keeper. After deal done with shop keeper we cannot try to make sure about jacket. Manager is basic right to listen my complain without any judge statement and this deal based on business marketing damaging jacket is expired this is my point of view but the shop keeper not concerned about it. So we will try to convince shopkeeper to return that jacket who do not wear me after all shop keeper if want to manage the business who check the jacket expiry date and make decisions about it. this is basic business rules to negotiate with customer humbly and listen his problem. Definitely usually expire things not mention but the customer has not mistake this mistake of administration of business shop or who buy the things from other shop or wholesalers . The jacket is good looking but in entirely problem not confirm manager need to understand and returned to customers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is related to the complaint and indicates that you want the jacket returned, so the reader can identify your general purpose. However, the task is addressed only minimally: the jacket is described as “expired” and “in entirely problem,” without explaining what physical damage you found. You also do not clearly recount the return visit or state that the shop refused the return because its policy prohibits returns. Your request to the manager is present but unclear—“returned to customers” does not specify whether you want a refund, replacement, or repair. To develop the letter, describe the damage, explain the refusal, and make one precise request. A suitable formal opening and closing would also help it function as a complete letter.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

There is a general focus on the jacket and the shop’s responsibility, and phrases such as “After deal done” and “So” attempt to connect ideas. However, the information is not arranged coherently: the response moves between the purchase, business rules, the shopkeeper, and the manager without a clear sequence of events. Several sentences are difficult to follow, especially “this deal based on business marketing damaging jacket is expired this is my point of view.” The ideas would be easier to understand in three short paragraphs: the damage, what happened during the return attempt, and what action you want. Use clear links such as “When I returned to the store” and “Therefore, I would like you to” rather than repeating general points about business.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary connected with the situation, including “complain,” “customer,” “business rules,” and “negotiate,” showing some awareness of the topic. However, the range is basic and several word choices or combinations make the meaning unclear. “Expired” is not appropriate for a jacket; it usually describes food or a product past its use-by date. “My deal is done” and “not wear me” also do not express the intended ideas naturally. Repeated use of “shop keeper” and “business” limits precision. Choose specific terms for the problem and remedy, such as “damaged,” “faulty,” “refund,” or “replacement,” and use natural combinations such as “return the jacket” and “store policy.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentences and uses some linking structures, including “After…” and “who…,” but control of sentence formation is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries frequently make the message hard to interpret. For example, “Manager is basic right to listen my complain” lacks necessary grammatical elements, while “the shop keeper not concerned about it” has no correctly formed verb. The final sentence also combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then join related ideas with accurate clauses: “When I got home, I noticed a tear in the sleeve. The shop assistant refused a return because of the store’s policy.” Check articles, subject–verb agreement, and punctuation when editing.

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