Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are in good shape, I am formally writing in regards to the merchandise I bought 2 days back from your edinberg location.

It was Sunday when me and my wife decided to go for a shopping and buy a jacket for myself as because it was my birthday week, We both been to the store and upon looking looking many of the items we finalised a black leather jacket for me which looked stunning on me, and we requested the staff to get us one of the larger size upon he said to meet at the billing counter by the time he gets us the larger size and he packed the item and we went out without checking the jacket. When I went home we found out that the jacked was torn from the back side and we immediately went to the store for the return but we were said that the item could not be returned.

I request you to kindly look into this matter as the jacket we bought was quiet expensive and this will also question the credibility of the store about how they are treating the customer.

Thankyou for you timeand consederation. I look forward to hearing from you at earliest convienience.

Thankyou,

Amrit

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three required points: the jacket was torn at the back, the store refused the return, and you ask the manager to look into the matter. The account is relevant and gives useful context about the purchase. However, the requested action is not fully specified: “look into this matter” does not clearly say whether you want a refund, replacement, or another remedy. The return attempt is also described briefly, without explaining who refused it or whether you showed the damage or receipt. Develop these details and state a precise outcome you expect. The letter’s purpose is clear, but some parts are less fully addressed than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter follows a generally sensible order: you introduce the purchase, explain how the damage was discovered, describe the unsuccessful return, and make a request. This gives the reader an overall coherent account. However, the long middle paragraph combines many events in one sentence, making the sequence harder to follow; for example, the purchase, staff interaction, packing, and discovery of the tear are all crowded together. Break this section into shorter sentences or paragraphs, and use clear transitions to distinguish the purchase from the return attempt. The opening and closing also feel somewhat abrupt. Overall, the organisation works, though some linking and paragraphing are not consistently controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the situation, including “leather jacket,” “torn,” “billing counter,” and “credibility.” There are also attempts at a formal register, such as “I am formally writing” and “I look forward to hearing from you.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “in good shape” as a greeting, “went for a shopping,” and “quiet expensive.” Spelling errors such as “edinberg,” “consederation,” and “convienience” also reduce accuracy. Aim for standard customer-service expressions and check spelling carefully. A more precise phrase for the requested remedy would also make the letter more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, and the reader can generally understand the main events. However, some sentence structures are faulty, particularly the extended sentence beginning “It was Sunday when me and my wife decided…” and continuing through the staff interaction. It contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation, and “upon he said” is not a well-formed clause. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms, such as “We both been to the store,” as well as article and pronoun patterns in “a shopping” and “for myself as because.” Use shorter sentences to control clause structure, and check past-tense forms and sentence boundaries. These issues sometimes make the account difficult to process.

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